Wednesday, September 13, 2006

All About Me

1) I was married for 10 years.

2) I wanted to be married for 12 years so I could graduate.

3) I regret not graduating marriage because I never went to my high school grad.

4) I hitch hiked to Vancouver when I was 17.

5) Get ready to be floored.

6) Nothing bad happened to me.

7) I have three children from my marriage.

8) I have abandoned them.

9) I’m kidding.

10) We have joint custody.

11) They live with me.

12) I didn’t have to breast feed any of them.

13) I don’t regret that.

14) I can sleep anytime.

15) I don’t drink alcohol.

16) I used to occasionally.

17) I do drink other things.

18) If I didn’t I would die.

19) I can shut off my feelings.

20) I often have trouble feeling anything.

21) Girls don’t seem to like that.

22) Whatever.

23) Everything fascinates me.

24) For about 10 minutes.

25) I only wear one contact lense.

26) So I don’t need bifocals.

26) I want to get married again.

27) I haven’t met the girl yet.

28) I don’t use drugs.

29) Good lord, I’m boring.

30) I’m a loner.

31) I have to have people and noise around me all the time.

32) I’m good under pressure.

33) I’m flexible.

34) Except for my body.

35) I’ve never been in a fight.

36) I’m not afraid of people.

37) I really do hate games.

38) I’m usually good at them.

39) I am 6? 1? tall.

40) I have black hair and brown eyes.

41) Who really cares.

42) I hate gossip.

43) I never know what’s going on.

44) I am a very picky eater.

45) I eat weird foods.

46) I have a sister.

47) I think one of us was adopted.

48) Who knows, one of us may be an alien.

49) Neither one of us have any super powers like Superman.

50) I’ve always regretted that.

51) I like drawing moustaches on pictures in books.

52) This never fails to amuse me.

53) This never fails to make the library ladies angry.

54) I can recognize everyone I know by their body shape.

55) I guess I stare a lot.

56) I like dogs and cats.

57) They seem to like me too.

58) I like wild animals.

59) They don’t share the same feelings.

60) I’m left handed.

61) Again, who really cares.

62) I don’t like fancy restaurants or hotels.

63) I’m comfortable wearing a suit.

64) I prefer a t shirt and jeans.

65) I’m a good bass guitar player.

66) I’m a lousy guitar player.

67) I can juggle.

68) I did art for my friends when I was a teen.

69) I’m a good liar.

70) None of this is a lie.

71) I hate flying.

72) Flying pops my ears.

73) I worked in a palliative care hospital when I was 17.

74) Patients died every day.

75) People who are 17 shouldn’t witness that much death.

76) I want everyone to succeed.

77) I don’t care if I do.

78) I’m amazed at how many truly beautiful women blog.

79) I’m equally amazed at how many hideous men blog.

80) I worry that people will miss the humor in my comments.

81) I don’t like saying goodbye.

82) I don’t like things ending.

83) It frustrates me when people are always whining.

84) Do something. Anything, for crying out loud.

85) Life doesn’t owe us anything but life.

86) I swear too much.

87) I’m trying not too.

88) I believe in God.

89) I don’t believe in church.

90) I own and SUV.

91) I need a big vehicle because I’m big.

92) I hardly ever drive anywhere.

93) I prefer to bike or walk.

94) I want to say something shocking about me.

95) I’d have to lie to do that.

95) Umm, I once beat a man to death who cut into line.

96) See, now that’s a lie.

97) I did give a man who cut into line a dirty look once.

98) I’m a good listener.

99) I just think of other things when people talk.

100) The next thing is shocking. Oh, wait I’ve hit 100…..